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Thursday, November 05, 2009

the Stoop: Sugar Was so Sweet He Went to Jail for It


This story is beyond crazy, so first let me set the mood.

Last summer a guy wakes up in the middle of the night with the urge to engage in some adult fun. Since he didn't pay his cell phone bill, he couldn’t make that infamous late night booty call.

Wait, he hears a noise. The noise is faint but yet soothing to his ears. His adrenaline begins to pump feverishly as his head rapidly swivels trying to discover what this enchanting sound was that has captivated his full being.

To the window he runs, he looks down and sees a dim light in this wooden red structure. Down the stairs he runs and out the door in one swift move leaving his pants and vitals behind. The louder the noise gets the faster he runs. He is now in full HEAT as he leaps a 7 foot fence in one hop, but then he suddenly stops. He looks around the gather his barons as the evening wind gently blows around him.

He smiles

He has finally made it to his destination and the anticipation of the unknown has him ready to explode.
He is so blinded by his unbridled desire that he doesn't realize he has just walked into a barn (*record scratches*) yea a barn folks. His beautiful Greek siren neighs at him and he responds back "I NEED YOU RIGHT NOW".
The horse glances at him with that Gary Coleman "what you talking about Willis" look. Before the horse could run...BAM...Sugar (the horse) is getting taken advantage in a way she could have never imagined.

Sugar (the horse) is perplexed at what's going on, but she continues buck and neigh louder until her owner comes to the stable locked, hot, and ready to rock with a double barrel shotgun. Still unknown to the guy that he is banging a mare, he runs pass the owner until he is engulfed by the dark of the night.

Fast forward to July 2009 and the same guy wakes up in the same manner. He attempts to replay the exact same situation, but he meets a much different ending. This time he is arrested for buggery and today pleads guilty to assaulting Sugar. ... LMAO LMAO

Oh ok everything in the above story is a gross exaggeration of the actual acts, however, the act did occur and a South Carolina man is now in jail for 3 years for sexually assaulting a horse.

(*someone yells from the audience*) FOR REALS

Yes FOR REALS! All you can do is shake your head and say that this guy is sick and really needs help. Hey he is going to a place where there are "horses of another sort", so he should be right at home.

Written by: Ran
ran@ourbloc.com
Follow on Twitter @Rannyran

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23 comments:

Anonymous said...

lmfao.. actually tuid (throwingupindisgust) this is probably the nastiest shit I've ever read in my natural life. Not only should the editor of this nonense be shot with a double-barrel rifle, but she/he should be mauled in the asshole by a horse..

Sincerely Yours,

wwww.twitter.com/RoshelleFierro

Ran said...

Thanks for your gratitude towards my writing...LOL...

Autty said...

LMFAO LMFAO LMFAO ^^^Just as I suspected another satisfied reader. LMFAO thank you for that vivid walk down throw up lane! You seem like a man that truly appreciates his struggle. and I thank you again.....

Anonymous said...

oh em geee! I have to say I agree with the first post.. who in there fucking right mind would write some sick shit like this?!?!?! Someone needs to bless this child or man or whoever this sick fuck is, I personally think the person who wrote this needs to be in the same jail cell as the freaking whacko who did this.. smfh!

Anonymous said...

ewww... I usually like the music on this site but this post is flat out satanic.. I shall never visit this pathetic excuse for a site again.. is this editor a child molester or something?

Anonymous said...

Wuz wrong wit showin' luving relashuns with your ride. If bros women can remind him of a car...To each hiz on.

Rednek Bobby Lou

Editor said...

I appreciate the comments that are coming in, but uhhh I wrote a story about a dude that actually did this...LOL... feel free to search USA Today for the article

LMAO

Autty said...

I can't stop laughing! LMFAO!

Autty said...

Let's have a moment of silence for Sugar. Her Vag is now set free!

I wish I was the Police said...

I wish I had a police officer in my family, I would definitely have them search this sick fucking editor's house, he has to be into at the LEAST some under age porn, at LEAST! Who the fuck is this poor excuse for a human being? Whoever knows this person should protect their children and never leave them around or with this dude. Nasty.

Hazel said...

wow , I thought this guy was lame enough on twitter.. I actually followed this fucktard because he was so lame that he was semi-comical. But this clearly takes the cake. Great Job Dickhead, now it's confirmed your as perverted as I anticipated. Loser

Rannyran said...

I appreciate the comment and follow

Anonymous said...

What are you mofos getting so tight about? All u can do is laugh at the man and wonder why would someone do this? It's on bossip and the pic alone is worse than this? Are you mad because this isn't some ghetto, urban, erotic literature & u feeling bad about using that "Rabbit" that when you got to the end, U short bus mofos finally realized this is about a damn horse right after your batteries ran out.

Wiiiiiiiilllllbuuuuuuurrrrrrrr...

http://bossip.com/175590/random-ridiculousness-man-given-jail-time-for-sexing-horse/

Anonymous said...

Are y'all serious?! Dang he just wrote about it, he didn't DO it, LOL!

Rannyran said...

Link to the article about the act on USA Today

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/ondeadline/post/2009/11/sc-man-sent-to-prison-for-again-having-sex-with-horse/1

LOL we are not pulling it lol

Anonymous said...

wow I am truly glad I don't know this demented person in real life and just on twitter. I want to un-follow but I'm scared he'll find my location and rape me. What a sick guy.

RannyRan (Editor) said...

LMAO this is what OURBLOC.com is all about a place to voice your views... everyone's views are accepted here ...

LOve it be sure to check out the hot music that posted today

Thanks again

Autty said...

Thanks Chyna! LOL!

Anonymous said...

Oh come on! You all could tell where the story was going and turn away at any time. Sick subject, good writing. LOL

chyna_coop@yahoo.com said...

L-O-L wait why u thanking me Autty?!

Rannyran (editor) said...

I am loving this ... keep the post coming

pretty ms hill said...

WELCOME TO FANTASY ISLAND As you read this bizarre account of when keeping it real goes wrong,we need to face it.Most of us would agree,we have been hurt,offended,unjustly criticized,or WRONGED.This causes grief and pain.Poor Sugar; who grieves for her after a extremely painful,difficult experience: suffering to her body and soul.We can learn how to cope with our hurts but this is more than she can handle."Father, forgive them;for they know not what they do".As long as we are in these earthly bodies,the battle with sin will not be over.As ashamed as we are of this failure,fill your hearts with joy and peace and ask for SUGAR to be cleansed again. We will want to do to others as we want them to do to us

RannyRan said...

I know everyone forgot about Sugar, but hopefully the story brings closure to Sugar